Shopping for Thanksgiving Dinner

Wow...today we went grocery shopping for Thanksgiving dinner and I was not suprised at the amount that it cost but my boyfriend was.  I had him go with me to help get the stuff because I wanted him to see that it is not an easy task, grocery shopping that is, and I wanted him to see what this meal was going to cost to feed 13 people.

There is alot more involved than just time to prepare the dinner and make the plans and try to get everyone together at the same time with them having to go to multiple places and have multiple meals all in one day.  The grocery bill by the way was $204.00 and he nearly went into shock.  I let him know that I spend that on groceries alot just to keep food in the house and it not is easy, the food prices go up everyday and it gets harder and harder to prepare meals when you are not able to get as much from one week to the next and he didn't quite understand that, but he does now.  This was not an I told you so lesson it was just something that I thought that he should know.  This will make the cost per plate approximately $15.70 person and five of them are children.  I think that it is a crying shame that people are put in aposition where they cannot afford to prepare a decent nutritional meal for their families and they cannot qualify for food stamps either because they went over by $4.00.

I guess once the meal is prepared and all the bellies are full  and satisfied then it will be well worth the cost and the time, and then we start preparing for Christmas and not just the dinner.  I can only imagine, so I decided to start getting the non-perishables now and then as time gets closer hopefully the grocery bill will go down.

I love to cook and I'm not complaining about that, I just wish it wasn't such a huge expense to get to bring a family together for a nice meal and to be able to socialize.  I hope all have a HappyThanksgiving and get to spend it with those you want to.

just another day

It's just another day, one less that I have to work and one less blog I have to post.  The day started out with an emergency at the clinic early this morning and the animal past away and then I hurried home to get around for school and went to tutoring and then class and back at work that was crazy busy with animals that would be better off taking care off themselves for no better care than the owners take of them.

I love my job and the animals , I just don't like seeing what some of them have to go through.  It is hard and sad but rewarding at the same time. 

It's just another day.

The Friday Blahs

It's Friday and here I am writing another blog and don't know what to say.  I have been sick all week and as you may or may not know I am a kidney donor in a the paired program and the person that I am trying to help is in renal failure and will not do what she should have done months ago and went on dialysis.  I have been doing some research because some of the things that she tells me isn't making much sense to me so I went online to the National Kidney Center to look up information on renal failure  and found out some very interesting things that I didn't know and neither did she. 

I believe that there are people who are very strong in their faith but when your life is put in jeopardy because you believe that God is going to heal you and you refuse other treatment, then I think there is a problem.   I have gone though extensive testing for this for her and have even put my grades in jeopardy which right now really pisses me off because I work very hard to get the grades I do and I don;t miss class even when I am sick, but she needed me to get my testing done, so the only time I had available was during midterms because she didn't want to wait a week and she reminded me that her kidney function was an 11(already in renal failure) so I went and missed a mid-term exam and screwed up my grade and now Im digging myself out of a hole.  Now don't get me wrong I am glad that I am going to be able to help her get a kidney, but now her kidney function is a 5 and she doesn't find it necessary to go on dialysis...are you kidding me. 

Needless to say, I got upset and called her and let my concerns be known but I don't think that it did any good she feels that she is doing great. Who does that?   I just don't get it.

I seem to have lost my train of thought because thinking about it makes me that angry.  Help those who help themselves..whoever thought that left it open for argument.    

Friday Blog

Here it is once again Friday and time for a blog and what do I have for this one, "nothing".  I have been very preoccupied with work, finances, registration for classes, homework and trying to keep it all together , not to mention being on alert always for a call that I need to go to St. Louis for the transplant and now with the holidays coming on there is that much more to think about and I am just flat overwhelmed.  I've got myself in a financial jam and can't seem to get out and that stresses me out to the max....I think that is my biggest worry, how to handle the mess I got into and how to get out.  I am working on a solution but I don't know that it is a promising one or not, though I would like to think so, you know they call that "wishful thinking", but it's all I got right now.

I want to be caught up on all my bills and all my school work and be able to look back on this ugle situation and say that I was able to get myself out.  I just need people to work with me a little and not keep harassing about money that I do not have.  How do you tell someone that your hours got cut back from work because it is the slow time and therefore you are not making as much but they think you should still be able to pay the same amount regardless, even when you do not have it....ridiculous I say..hello, do the math.  I want to pay, I can't pay or at least not that much ,but when I get back up on my feet I will pay more.  Why is that so hard to understand. 

I go to school to better myself and to get a degree so that I can make more money, but that won't happen for a while and I can't work a full and part time job because then I couldn't go to shool and the full time job won't pay all the bills, but I don't want to give up school...I wish people were a little more sympathetic to the issues at hand.  I would be, they must have lots of money and not have problems, I bet that's it, so lets crap on the people who are on the poverty level and falling fast.  That would be me and thank you and have a nice day to you too.

The need to relax

Once agin I am flying by the seat of my pants and once again at trying to get my blogs in on time and once agin I missed the due date.  My weeks are so busy, not to say that we all don't have busy weeks.  There has been so much going in my life that I can't even find the time to relax and there doesn't even been time to even have the thought to relax. 

My employer thought that it would be a nice thing for him to have a massage therapist come and give us all massages for 45 minutes and I was reluctant because I have never had one and I am not real fond of a stranger rubbing her hands on me, but it was kind of nice even though the whole time she is trying to massage my muscles she is telling me to relax..I said "RELAX" what is that?   I don't know how to relax and I never have.  I have such a hectic life and I always find that it is hard for me to do.  I am a very tense uptight person and relax was never something that I have ever been able to do and I don't think that it is going to get any better in the new future.  The holidays are coming up, finals are coming and new enrollment and then of course there is work and it busy because of the holidays and lots of animals to take care of and then there is the possiblitly that a kidney recipient may come up and I will have to go and donate my kidney to some needy person and then that has to be worked into a schedule, a phone call for that can come at any time and any day and tha really puts alot of stress on me because I have to line up so many things in order to go to St. Louis and even though I get to pick the date there is still recovery time and that has to be limited so that I can get back to work and school, so if you are like me, there is contant worry of getting things done and that leads me to the point that ..I need to relax. 

If there is a solution to this I am open to suggestions, because just for one day, I would love to know what it feels like to just "relax" if even just for a few minutes.  A time when there is absolutely nothing to do and for the most part, nothing to think about doing or having to do. 

Anyway to all of you out there who would love to give me some ideas, I am all ears or eyes, since I will have to read about it,

Mid-terms

I don't know about the rest of you but I am gld that mid-terms are out of the way and I can get my grades up to where I want them and put  together a new study plan and move forward.  I did this last year and it seemed to work out pretty well but I spent any and all free time that I had doing homework, but that is what it took and if it takes that again, then, homework here I come. 

I am not looking for this to be an easy semester just for the fact that I have alot of commitments that I have made and the biggest challenge that I will face will be getting them all done.  I am pretty organized about things but I do hate giving up what little free time that I have but in the long run I feel that it will be worth it.  I guess you have to put one foot forward first to be able to start out on your journey in order to reach your destination, so why not jump in with both feet right off the bat.

It has been a long week and the week to come could be filled with a surprise that I am not yet ready to take on but I will let you know how the week plays out.  I have to cut this blog short, I have been sick and trying to catch up on all my assignments and I thought that something is better than nothing so I got at least on in for tonight and will work on the other one tomorrow and maybe get a few points for the effort.

WOW..What a week

This has been quite a week and I am still trying to catch up on all of my homework and get caught up at work.  I started my week by attending class first thing Monday morning and then I went straight to work and worked  until 6:00pm and from there I went home changed clothes and was on the road to St. Louis by 6:30 and arrived there at 11:00pm and had to be at a Dr. appointment at 8:00 that was going to last for four hours and then had to have another one that lasted one hour and then had two more appointments the following morning which is now Wednesday and I should have been in my Bio class where I missed two quizzes and the lab that was going to be on my midterm test on Friday.  Then drive home on Wednesday and go to work on Thursday where I worked my regular shift then was on-call for the clinic which then required another 5 hours at the clinic for three emergencies and now it is Friday and I have my Bio test which was first thing in the morning only for me to see my graded posted on blackboard showing that I had done horrible which then reflected in my mid-term grade. 

So needless to say this has been a rough week and this is the only blog that I will get in this week which is still not over..I don't know if I will make it to the next blog..this week can still kill me.

What a week

You hear people say "this has been a week from hell", well it has.  If it could go wrong, be wrong, or happen at a worse time that has been this week for me. My stress level is off the charts and my anxiety meds don't even begin to touch it. 

I am cross-training at work, so I do two completely different jobs when I am there not to mention we had a person quit, so then those hours had to be covered and the other two girls that work there, well one was moving and off for the week and the other one is in school and can only work certain days, and of course those were the days she could not work, so I have to cover his shifts and mine, go to class 3 days a week and keep up with my on-line classes, and at the same time do my final stage of testing for a kidney donation.

So now here I am trying very hard to meet all my due dates for my assignments and pack to go to St. Louis for testing and work two shifts and stay sane.  That is very hard to do. It may sound like I am losing it real fast and I am...I think I will be crazy before it is all over.

Anyway, I think I am just thinking out loud to help me get things done, except I am writing it in this blog becqause it is an assignment that is due and I have to have done.  I probably doesn't make sense, imagine what my brain is feeling like at this moment.  I write everything down, have post-its all over and does it help, I can yes to a degree, but there are not too many of them being thrown away so I better get with things or I may be in trouble later down the road.  Talk to you more next week.

St. Louis Bound

I posted a blog about "Right or Wrong" not too long ago about donating a kidney to my boyfriends sister and now I am at Stage 3 of testing and the final stage, thank goodness.  This stage is the most important one up to now I guess you could say.  We knew from the beginning that we were not compatible because of our blood type, but we are doing the "Paired Program" so it gives her and someone else the chance to receive a kidney when their donor isn't compatible.

So, Monday night we are off to St. Louis, a five hour drive to somewhere I have never been in the middle of the night to make an appointment that has been set for Tuesday morning that had a time that non-negotiable. This test is to check my kidney function and is a four hour test, was I shocked to hear that one.  Then on Wednesday, I have to see a social worker, then the doctor, and then the big one is the CT Scan that last an hour and requires an iv with a dye that will go through me to show my veins of my kidneys.  This one was the wow factor for me because I thought it was like an ultrasound, boy was I wrong. 

I'm not complaining, I am glad to be doing it for her or someone else, but things are moving really fast and if they find a donor right away things will be going even faster.  I wanted to put this stage off until after midterms but she(his sister) played the guilt card on me and I knew she would, but hoped she wouldn't.  Her kidneys are only functioning at 11% at generally most people go on dialysis when they get they low and she informed me that she had been at an 11% for three weeks now, so then I spend two hours on the phone scheduling appointments, rearranging work schedule, e-mailing professors of the classes that I will miss, to find out today that it is a double wammy for me because she is going to give two quizes that day I'm going to be gone so I have to take them Monday before I leave without all the lecture material on one of them. The day was not getting any better, but the schedules are changed and I will be crunching all weekend studying for my Bio Quizes.  I just tell myself, I will be done with all the testing and have been right on it since she asked me to do this and after it is all said and done, we wait, but I will feel better waithing knowing that it isn't me she is waiting on if the inevitable should occur before a match can be found and she has to be put on dialysis.  I told myself that I did my part, now it is up to God to find the pair.

I hope it sooner than later, I don't want her to have to wait, but I will have done my part and the rest is up to the hope of another compatible pair. 

The Amanda Knox Story

It's all over the news about Amanda Knox and her appeal for freedom.  On 20/20 tonight we got to hear the story about the incident(I know a girl was murdered, but I don't like how that sounds even though that is what happened) and by the reports of the defense attorneys there is no reason for her to be in jail, there is no evidence that says that her or her boyfriend did anything, why do we not hear about her boyfriend anyway, is it because he isn't appealing and just accepted things and that's it or what.  The man that they found all the evidence against, they let go and now he has fled the country, what kind of justice system do they have?

While watching 20/20 we find out that the prosecutor has been found guilty of a crime and he is free because in Italy you are not guilty until a Supreme Court finds you guilty and yet Amanda Knox has been in jail for four years and this man (prosecutor) is fighting to get a jury to convict her and lengthen her sentence from 25 years to life and says she should be grateful that Italy doesn't recognize the death penalty or he would ask for that but the Supreme Court did not find her guilty.

How does a man like that get to even prosecute the case when he was found of wrong doing in a previous case after trying to convict two innocent people and lost.  I really feel bad for her and her family.  I honestly do not think that she or her boyfriend had anything to do with it, but since the police department screwed up and let the real killer go and can't find him, they have to save face and  they have to hold someone responsible for the killing and there sits Amanda Knox. 

The Knox family has been through hell not to mention what their daughter is going through, which made me ask myself  and wonder why anyone from the United States would want to go and study abroad or travel abroad, like the hikers in Iran.  It seems obvious that other countries will find a reason to make examples out of us at no expense and really don't want US citizens there, so why not just stay home.  There are 50 states that can be studied from, surely they haven't been to them all. 

The verdict won't be in till this weekend and I fell asleep at the last part, so I don't even know how the story ended or when the verdict is to be isssued, but there is going to be a special on the Today Show on Monday morning regardless.  I hope that Amanda gets to go home.  Can you only imagine what the United States could do to people here since we have so many nationalities?  I know when 9/11 happened some people were not very nice to the Muslim people and that alot of people out there that think if you are not originally from this country you need to leave, which is the impression I get from Italy, but then what does that make us?

I know this is not the last of this story and there will be alot more to talk about and I also feel for Meridith, the girl who was killed and her family.  They feel that she has been overshadowed and forgotten during all this but it is the prosecutor that is trying to redeem himself that is making this bigger than it ever had to be.
I feel for both families, they have both suffered great losses at which there will never be a way to undo what has been done or replace their loved one who is no longer here and I hope the best for Amanda and that she will get to go home and that Meridith's family can find forgiveness for Amanda and turn their anger to the ones who deserve it and make sure that the true killer is caught.

It is a tragic story and sad loss of life and for what..to study abroad in a foriegn country, why can't we just be happy where we are, life would be less complicated.   

Laziness

"Laziness n. an inclination not to do work or engage in activities"(Websters Dictionary).  What is it about people that they think that this  is a job requirement.  If it is "an inclination not to do work" then why have a job.  I am sure that there a lot of people out there that would love to have a job and actually put forth some effort to keep it.

Do people who are lazy not realize that not only do they make other peoples jobs harder, but that it will eventually, and I say that loosely because some employers pretend not to notice, they are going to have a hard row to hoe because people won't continue to do their work for them?  Do they even care?  If you were a lazy person would you feel guilty taking a paycheck knowing that you didn't actually earn it?  Where do these kind of people hide to get out of work?  These are questions I have.  I work with a lazy deadbeat and everyday it chaps me more and more the things that he can get away with.  I can think of alot of people who are unemployed who would welcome the chance to just have a job and a paycheck to take home.

"Hard work never hurt anyone", that's what I was told growing up  and I found it to be true so far.  It might make me tired and run down sometimes, since I work full time and go to school full time, but never do I feel guilty about getting my paycheck because I know that I earned every penny of it and then some because I did Mr. Lazy's job too.  I should get his paycheck and I wouldn't feel guilty taking it either.

It only takes one person to ruin things for everyone and what is the purpose, just come to work and do your job, don't complain because it's too much, how would you know, you have never done your job to its full potential to start with. Oh let's not forget, now you want to know when you will get a raise, A RAISE, for what..coming late, doing a half done job and made life harder on all your co-workers..are you kidding me.

I know that there are lazy people in this world, it is not a disease, it is a self-taught habit and I am sure that if I look into it with real death somewhere I will probably find someone who has classed it as a disease, but I'm not falling for it.  Get off your ass and work, it's that plain and that simple.  You don't want to, step aside and let someone else who does. 

Right or Wrong?

I have a question to ask and I have already made my decision but I was wondering what some other thoughts were.  My boyfriends sister is in desperate need of a kidney and no one in her family can give her one and she asked me if I would mind being tested to see if I would be compatible with her and I told her no I didn't mind and I am in the second stages of testing and so far things are going fine, no snags as of yet, and I hope that there are not any, the point is to try to keep her from going on dialysis, and she has been on the transplant list for five years and is number 23, but she doesn't think that one will come soon enough. 

I am an organ donor on my driver's license and I have done alot of research to see how it will affect me later in life, which the only thing it could possibly do is give me hypertension sometime in my lifetime, that won't be a surprise, I thought I would have it before now. My other kidney will grow to support the one one I donate and I will go on and lead my life like I do now.  They don't even put restrictions on when I can have sex after surgery, so it must not be all that bad.

I do have people questioning me though and I really don't know why..I mean the surgery itself is no different than having your appendix or gallbladder removed and I have had both taken out already several years ago, and no I'm not old, just in case you were wondering.  If you had the opportunity to save someones life or prolong and give them a better quality of life, would you do it?  My boyfriend thinks that I am doing it for him..he didn't ask me to do it, she did, so that was a no answer, but very self-centered on his part, and I told him that. 

Do you know that there are 80,000 people on the transplant list for a kidney and that is more than heart, liver and all the smaller ones combined.  Imagine if that many people who are healthly would give up one of their kidneys how many lives would be saved every year, because I think it is like 1500 that die every year waiting.  Would you want to be on that list?  I wouldn't and that is why I am doing this, so I can make the list one less person and she does not have any antibodies, so she wont reject it, for now anyway.  They made it sound like it would be a slow process, but since my bloodwork came back good, the lab work and the test are just piling on full throttle.  I work 40 hours a week, go to school full-time(13 hours) and Im trying to get testing done to do this and keep up with homework, funny thing about all this is that I am the type of person who gets very stressed out at the drop of a hat and I have no worries at all.  I am not a very religious person, though I do believe that everyting happens for a reason and I hope that I get through all the labs and tests without any problems so I can help her.

Anyway I guess I really don't have much more to say I just wondered what others think about it.  Some of my co-workers are behind me and some no so much, but they worry about me, they think that I take on too much and don't worry enough about myself, but if I did  not do this and found out that I could have helped her and she didn't get a kidney, I think I would feel horrible about myself for being selfish.  Would you?

FERPA

The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974..FERPA.  This is a federal law regarding the privacy of the students and access to educational  records.  Did everyone get the schoolwide e-mail on this one?  Do you all remember going to the Southern Welcome and them talking about FERPA and how they can't even tell your parents anything, BUT they will make your directory information available to the general public.  This would include things like: your name, student id number, your address, telephone number, your e-mail address, your major or field of study any activities or sports that you are involved in, when you go to school, your enrollment status such as full or part-time, any honors or awards you may have received, where you may have gone to school previously, date and place of birth, your photograph, grade level and your next of kin.  Hello, where is the privacy!  It didn't take me but a few short strokes across the keyboard and I had all my information blocked.  This is crazy..they call this a privacy act.

I wanted to make sure they got the paper that I e-mailed them and just for peace of mind I printed the form and personally handed it in at the Regisrars office so that I knew they got it.  Here is my problem with this..I have an ex-husband who attends MSSU also, who did not know that I did and our paths, unfortunately, passed last week, the day before the e-mail came out and yes you can say that I was in panic mode.  He has remarried since and I am glad for that, but there is alot of unresolved tension between the two of us and why would I want him to have access to all my information freely at the touch of a button, when I went to extreme measures at the bank, electric, gas and water companies to put security codes on my accounts so he could not access them or find out where I lived and the school is just going to give it out..WOW.

Is it just me or does anyone else see a problem with this policy.  The Registrars office told me that with the block on the directory I can not have my name in the paper for the honor roll if they publish it and my name won't appear on the graduation list for commencement..give me a break, I'm a Freshman, I don't think that I have to worry about it for a while.

I do not have a relationship any longer with my parents and they have absolutely no idea where I live, if I go to school, but I'm sure my ex told them, they speak, or anything about me or even where I work.  I make sure that I keep myself as private as I can, and I do not feel that it is anyone's business to be in my business unless I choose to give out the information.  I would hate to think that I would have to get restraining orders because the school told them everything they wanted to know about my life.  I wonder what the witness protection program is like, do they have a directory clause also? 

I am a private person and I like to be a private person.  There are people that I share my life stories or concerns with but I do that by choice and on my own terms and I am not going to let the school where I should feel safe to get an education and a degree take that away from me. 

I guess the reason that I am so upset is that they preached to us about the FERPA and how they can't your parents anything but let them tell everyone else, not to mention the fact that now that my ex knows I go there he makes it a point now every morning that I have class to be near where my friend and sit before class and everyday he gets bolder and closer to me.  I do not like confrontation and do not want any, what a way to start my mornings, not to mention that I watch everywhere that I go to see if he is around, it makes me sick to my stomach to know that he is probably watching every move that I make,  it shouldn't bother me right?  I mean after all he is married now and I am happy with my life, but there is tht little voice in my head that just won't shut up.

Did you know that students have certain rights under FERPA, but guess what, we have to put it in writing and request it and the request can be denied, to look at my own school records, are you kidding me.  Tell me there isn't something wrong with this whole situation.

Well I guess I am done for now, but I hope that it makes some of you think about what is yours isn't the case so much, respect yorself and your privacy, unless it doesn't bother you and you can withdrawl your request for privacy at anytime, but you have to fill out a form to get it to start with. 

This blog could have been filled with so many not nice things to say and some really bad words because it makes me extremely angry to think that I have no control over my own information and they call this a Privacy Policy.  Whatever!!!!

Sunday afternoon

It's Sunday afternoon and it is a beautiiful day outside and the temperature is just right and leaves are falling from the trees from when they burnt fron the summer sun.  It has been a quiet day, I did a little shopping and a couple of my boyfriends granddaughters are coming to stay the night with us..so the peace ansdquiet will soon be gone. 

Emma, our dog, and I are just sitting outside writing this blog and watching the cows graze.  Emma would love to take off after them but if she does that will beyond a doubt lead to a bath and I don't think she wants one because she is just watching them instead of chasing them, which doesn't happen all that often.

I've got things all around for dinner only to have not met someones needs I'm sure, it usually happens that way, but dinner is what it is and if they don't like it, which their mother says they will, I guess they will just have to be hungry until papa gives in with a snack at some point.  These are not little kids these are 11 and 7 so I don't feel all to bad when they choose to not eat..they definitely won't starve.

The night will be filled with impatience and probably the loss of some.  There are some children that can be very demanding and will push you to your boiling point before they stop, thank goodness we can always send them to bed. The house will have peace again... til morning and just can't wait.

To Blog

I'm new to this blogging thing and I obviously missed the due date to this by also.  I just didn't see it, but here a I am and now that I started this I don't know where to go from here.  I mean do you just write what is on your mind, something tht might interest others, do you use it for a place just to vent or what is it for exactly. 

I have lots to vent about  and I have a lot of personal concerns and then I have things that I am working towards and have in motion that require time and hopefully not heartache.  So what do I write about?  I am not a very interesting person and always put others before myself so I don't see where there is a lot to talk about unless it gets personal and then I become uncomfortable about talking because I don't know who is reading and how the readers will react.  Can someone give me a direction on some topics or explain what the "blogs" are to be about.

Introduction

Hi my name is Shawn. I am a non-traditonal freshman student and this is my second semester, technically third if you count the Summer course and  this is such a rush to me everytime a semester starts. I had not been to school in 25 years and never thought that I would get through the Spring 2010 semester but I did and did it well and I look forward to starting each semester, but will probably never do Summer again.

I  have a fantastic boyfriend who is a hugh support system for me and  we have a little dog Emma who has no problem keeping me on my toes and going.  She knows when I'm tired and will come in barking and want to play..the break is nice since most of my class work gets done late at night.  I work 40 hours a week and sometimes more and have a 13 hour class load, but I like to challenge myself and hope to do well with the goals that I have set for myself.

I am not a person that spends a whole lot of time thinking about what to say about myself because I  am not that kind of person.  I do not like to be singled out and I am not a front and center type of person.  I have a hard time with compliments, mainly I guess because I just look at it as doing my job or that  it is just what I do..I am a giving and caring person and will help anyone that I can and I extend myself beyond my means sometimes.

I look forward to reading about everyone and hope this turns out to be a positive thing, it not something that I have done before and I am a little concerned, but time will tell.

That is about all I have to say for now.  I am sure there will be more in the future and I hope everyone has a good semester.