The need to relax

Once agin I am flying by the seat of my pants and once again at trying to get my blogs in on time and once agin I missed the due date.  My weeks are so busy, not to say that we all don't have busy weeks.  There has been so much going in my life that I can't even find the time to relax and there doesn't even been time to even have the thought to relax. 

My employer thought that it would be a nice thing for him to have a massage therapist come and give us all massages for 45 minutes and I was reluctant because I have never had one and I am not real fond of a stranger rubbing her hands on me, but it was kind of nice even though the whole time she is trying to massage my muscles she is telling me to relax..I said "RELAX" what is that?   I don't know how to relax and I never have.  I have such a hectic life and I always find that it is hard for me to do.  I am a very tense uptight person and relax was never something that I have ever been able to do and I don't think that it is going to get any better in the new future.  The holidays are coming up, finals are coming and new enrollment and then of course there is work and it busy because of the holidays and lots of animals to take care of and then there is the possiblitly that a kidney recipient may come up and I will have to go and donate my kidney to some needy person and then that has to be worked into a schedule, a phone call for that can come at any time and any day and tha really puts alot of stress on me because I have to line up so many things in order to go to St. Louis and even though I get to pick the date there is still recovery time and that has to be limited so that I can get back to work and school, so if you are like me, there is contant worry of getting things done and that leads me to the point that ..I need to relax. 

If there is a solution to this I am open to suggestions, because just for one day, I would love to know what it feels like to just "relax" if even just for a few minutes.  A time when there is absolutely nothing to do and for the most part, nothing to think about doing or having to do. 

Anyway to all of you out there who would love to give me some ideas, I am all ears or eyes, since I will have to read about it,

Mid-terms

I don't know about the rest of you but I am gld that mid-terms are out of the way and I can get my grades up to where I want them and put  together a new study plan and move forward.  I did this last year and it seemed to work out pretty well but I spent any and all free time that I had doing homework, but that is what it took and if it takes that again, then, homework here I come. 

I am not looking for this to be an easy semester just for the fact that I have alot of commitments that I have made and the biggest challenge that I will face will be getting them all done.  I am pretty organized about things but I do hate giving up what little free time that I have but in the long run I feel that it will be worth it.  I guess you have to put one foot forward first to be able to start out on your journey in order to reach your destination, so why not jump in with both feet right off the bat.

It has been a long week and the week to come could be filled with a surprise that I am not yet ready to take on but I will let you know how the week plays out.  I have to cut this blog short, I have been sick and trying to catch up on all my assignments and I thought that something is better than nothing so I got at least on in for tonight and will work on the other one tomorrow and maybe get a few points for the effort.

WOW..What a week

This has been quite a week and I am still trying to catch up on all of my homework and get caught up at work.  I started my week by attending class first thing Monday morning and then I went straight to work and worked  until 6:00pm and from there I went home changed clothes and was on the road to St. Louis by 6:30 and arrived there at 11:00pm and had to be at a Dr. appointment at 8:00 that was going to last for four hours and then had to have another one that lasted one hour and then had two more appointments the following morning which is now Wednesday and I should have been in my Bio class where I missed two quizzes and the lab that was going to be on my midterm test on Friday.  Then drive home on Wednesday and go to work on Thursday where I worked my regular shift then was on-call for the clinic which then required another 5 hours at the clinic for three emergencies and now it is Friday and I have my Bio test which was first thing in the morning only for me to see my graded posted on blackboard showing that I had done horrible which then reflected in my mid-term grade. 

So needless to say this has been a rough week and this is the only blog that I will get in this week which is still not over..I don't know if I will make it to the next blog..this week can still kill me.

What a week

You hear people say "this has been a week from hell", well it has.  If it could go wrong, be wrong, or happen at a worse time that has been this week for me. My stress level is off the charts and my anxiety meds don't even begin to touch it. 

I am cross-training at work, so I do two completely different jobs when I am there not to mention we had a person quit, so then those hours had to be covered and the other two girls that work there, well one was moving and off for the week and the other one is in school and can only work certain days, and of course those were the days she could not work, so I have to cover his shifts and mine, go to class 3 days a week and keep up with my on-line classes, and at the same time do my final stage of testing for a kidney donation.

So now here I am trying very hard to meet all my due dates for my assignments and pack to go to St. Louis for testing and work two shifts and stay sane.  That is very hard to do. It may sound like I am losing it real fast and I am...I think I will be crazy before it is all over.

Anyway, I think I am just thinking out loud to help me get things done, except I am writing it in this blog becqause it is an assignment that is due and I have to have done.  I probably doesn't make sense, imagine what my brain is feeling like at this moment.  I write everything down, have post-its all over and does it help, I can yes to a degree, but there are not too many of them being thrown away so I better get with things or I may be in trouble later down the road.  Talk to you more next week.

St. Louis Bound

I posted a blog about "Right or Wrong" not too long ago about donating a kidney to my boyfriends sister and now I am at Stage 3 of testing and the final stage, thank goodness.  This stage is the most important one up to now I guess you could say.  We knew from the beginning that we were not compatible because of our blood type, but we are doing the "Paired Program" so it gives her and someone else the chance to receive a kidney when their donor isn't compatible.

So, Monday night we are off to St. Louis, a five hour drive to somewhere I have never been in the middle of the night to make an appointment that has been set for Tuesday morning that had a time that non-negotiable. This test is to check my kidney function and is a four hour test, was I shocked to hear that one.  Then on Wednesday, I have to see a social worker, then the doctor, and then the big one is the CT Scan that last an hour and requires an iv with a dye that will go through me to show my veins of my kidneys.  This one was the wow factor for me because I thought it was like an ultrasound, boy was I wrong. 

I'm not complaining, I am glad to be doing it for her or someone else, but things are moving really fast and if they find a donor right away things will be going even faster.  I wanted to put this stage off until after midterms but she(his sister) played the guilt card on me and I knew she would, but hoped she wouldn't.  Her kidneys are only functioning at 11% at generally most people go on dialysis when they get they low and she informed me that she had been at an 11% for three weeks now, so then I spend two hours on the phone scheduling appointments, rearranging work schedule, e-mailing professors of the classes that I will miss, to find out today that it is a double wammy for me because she is going to give two quizes that day I'm going to be gone so I have to take them Monday before I leave without all the lecture material on one of them. The day was not getting any better, but the schedules are changed and I will be crunching all weekend studying for my Bio Quizes.  I just tell myself, I will be done with all the testing and have been right on it since she asked me to do this and after it is all said and done, we wait, but I will feel better waithing knowing that it isn't me she is waiting on if the inevitable should occur before a match can be found and she has to be put on dialysis.  I told myself that I did my part, now it is up to God to find the pair.

I hope it sooner than later, I don't want her to have to wait, but I will have done my part and the rest is up to the hope of another compatible pair.